Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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