ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
