its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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