I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
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She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
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You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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