At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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