that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
