I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
