You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
