I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
