is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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