Your tits are I can't wait for
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
