R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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