Me. At least after what I've been through.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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