I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
