you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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