Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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