Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
the raccoons are back...
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