Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
