So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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