I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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