spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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