You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
