Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
