nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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