It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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