She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I take back everything I said about communal showers
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
