I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
