WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water