What a fucking waste of an outfit
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
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She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
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Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila