One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night