I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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