did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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