You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
