Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize