you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
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She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
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Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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