i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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