It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
