Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
