he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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