i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
