Your dad touched me again.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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