I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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