pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
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