it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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