so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
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I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
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I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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