The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
