On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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