I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
