sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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