I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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