I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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