How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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