I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
