i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
