so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
