Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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