Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
