She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
