Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
