Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
