i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
