I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
