were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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