If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
