Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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