Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
