Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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