I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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